I Am........

I am........................
The powers that were...
The powers that are...
& the powers those will be...

I am nothing but a speck of dirt in the infinite universe..
A toddler striding nervously, thinking it's always good to match stride with the Titans.
I live a lie & I dream the truth or is it the other way round. I am an embodiment of the self beliefs of a guy bedazzled with women, lust, power, fame & money. I am the loftiest beliefs of the corrupt man. I fly on the aspirations of the toddlers & yet when I speak, only the language of the sages flows through me. The time has taught me that it heals all wounds & yet I need a shoulder to cry on remembering the girl who broke my heart when I was 10.

I know that chalice of knowledge is the most refreshing & yet it is the goblet of wine that I sup. I walk on the lonely roads craving human affection & yet somehow take pleasure in hurting those who love me.

I know victories mean nothing more than just that I lowered myself a little more & yet I build minarets in remembrance of this lowliness. I know that moon is an embodiment of eternal love & yet when I look at it I see craters & pockmarks.

When I walk in the valley of flowers, I am amazed at the sight of beauty & yet I tear away that beauty from the very life source that makes it beautiful. Soaring above the plains & mountains, I realize how tiny I am in this world & yet the very thought of soaring above these gigantic structures gives me a boost of pride.

I laugh at the idea of Icarus, poor bastard flew & yet the only though that came to him was to go to the sun. But somewhere in the deepest recess of my hearts I am jealous of him for what will I not give to be singed a little by the sun, but to dominate the skies...aahhhh now that’s a thought.

I look back when I should be looking forward. I hurt when others rejoice, I weep when others smile & I smile when others weep, I rejoice when others hurt.

I look deep in her eyes, & I see nothing but deceit, faithlessness & yet I love her with all my heart. But the girl next to me who worships the very ground I walk on, well she’s just another girl smitten who would sooner or later bite that dust.

I walk with the kings & yet it is the paupers that I envy. I may walk with the kings & the knights, but it is those paupers who I rule.
My envy is my undoing, my envy is my life. My pride’s my doom & my doom is my destiny.

I know what destination I want to reach, & yet it’s the roads that define me. I believe in Gods for a moment & then I become an atheist.

I believe in a litter full of gods & yet when I compare them with me my pride always wins over, I am always better.

I am, forever a great man trapped in the body of a criminal or maybe it’s the other way round.
I believe in the all the high ideals but then who cares whether I live by them or not.

I know that in the darkest corners of the world, my destiny awaits me & yet I never bother to light a lamp, for what’s the fun in being safe?

I love her & yet I realize that she would never understand. I loather her but for some reason she always understands this.

Walking down the road I realize that companionship is overrated & yet I call her just to hear her voice. I know that she left for all the reasons that I hate myself for, but aaahhh here the question arises.. was I the only bad one?

I live for contradictions, constantly trying to search meaning out of my otherwise headless life. Yet when I find those meanings I deem them so trivial that I do not have a moment to enjoy it.

My darling, my love, I was born with contradictions. I was born to a lead a life of opposites & yet you tell me that I cannot adjust.

I am a Boy, a Man & god knows that I love being one. I know that if HE asks me, if I have any regrets in life my true answer will be guided by the testosterone level but my lips shall blurt out something spiritual mumbo jumbo.

In the days of darkness, I know that if I call her my shining light, she’ll be happier than a blossomed lily. But who tells her that I stand as a beacon of light in her otherwise dark life.

I know if I tell her that I need her, she’ll feel magnificent & yet who tells her that I have been weathered in the storms of her life standing as a rock beside her.


I know calling her beautiful makes her life complete, but who tells her that I have called her beautiful when I had an eye on the nymphs descended from heaven & she had a bad hair day.

They say that Life always comes a full circle. What goes around comes around. But then what is my life without contradictions. I finish my journey not to find myself at the beginning, but at the cusp of another journey.

I wage wars to end all wars & yet picking up a sword for me is easier than handing a rose to a woman.

Opposites attract they say. They make your life comfortable. Ying – yang whatever. Look at me..is she my opposite..I have enough opposites of my own. Why do I need a complete life?

Why do I need to be full? A glass half empty is also glass half full or maybe it’s the other way round.

So here I am. I write a thousand words about myself & I am as close to discovering who I really am before I started writing this or maybe as close as you are about my knowledge of me.

Great man yearn for knowledge, crave it.. I crave for indifference & darkness.

For whats the fun in having all the light, sometimes the darkness glows of its own might.

I am a Man....I am a Boy...I am what I am.. Someone has to be...

I am........................
The powers that were...
The powers that are...
& the powers those will be...